Wednesday, March 4, 2015

7:46 PM

Investors duped by City Limo’s fraud schemes win damages

In 21 different orders, a district forum has provided relief to investors duped by fraudulent schemes of City Limouzines (India) Ltd. While each complainant will receive their invested amounts ranging from Rs 4 lakh to almost Rs 10 lakh, they will also receive compensation. 

The South Mumbai District Consumer Disputes Redressal Forum passed the orders ex parte after City Realcom Ltd and City Limousines (India) Ltd did not file their replies and the complainants' version remained unchallenged. 

According to the complainants, the firm promised attractive financial returns through different schemes. They said that they had invested huge amounts in five-year scheme. While the returns were to be in lakhs, the firm paid them only a fraction of the amount. 

They said that a number of investors had invested their hard money, but the opposite parties did not comply with their assurance. 

The forum said that the copy of the agreement executed by the opposite parties placed on record the chart of expected amount which was to be refunded. 

The forum said that this was in contradicted the amounts actually received by the complainants.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/City/Mumbai/Investors-duped-by-City-Limos-fraud-schemes-win-damages/articleshow/33834437.cms
7:46 PM

Enforcement Directorate attaches City Group’s Rs 133-crore assets in 4 years



C Unnikrishnan ,TNN | Apr 15, 2014, 12.00 AM IST

MUMBAI: The Enforcement Directorate (ED) has attached fly-by-night operator City Group's properties and cash totalling Rs 133.3 crore in the last four years, including Rs 6 crore in Switzerland banks. The latest attachment, both movable and immovable properties worth Rs 6.48 crore, was done recently, officials said.

City Group companies, City Limouzine and City Realcom, had duped thousands across the country of over Rs 1,000 crore by promising unrealistic returns on investments through various schemes. In one of the schemes, City Limouzine offered 48% returns on investments. City Realcom, in one such scheme, had promised Rs 7,775 every month for five years and Rs 50,000 on maturity on an investment of Rs 1.39 lakh.

The police across the country had registered FIRs against company chairman, Sayed Masood, and other directors for conspiracy and cheating in 2009. The ED arrested him in 2012 and he is in judicial custody. The ED had registered a case under the Prevention of Money Laundering Act as proceeds of crime were used for amassing wealth. The ED said the properties and money seized were proceeds of crime, a pre-requisite for attachment. ED is also pushing for amendments in the Act so that properties attached are auctioned and proceeds distributed among the investors. Currently, property attached under the Act becomes that of government.

The ED has issued 21 provisional attachment orders attaching proceeds of crime. The market value of the assets may be Rs 250 crore, officials said. The ED has filed three complaints, equivalent to chargesheet, in the special court.

Source
7:44 PM

City Realcom limited - City Limouzine

City Realcom limited has been directed to pay approximately Rs. 4
lakhs as compensation for inability to provide promised services and
some additional amount as compensation for the cost of case.

BEFORE THE SOUTH MUMBAI DISTRICT CONSUMER DISPUTES REDRESSAL FORUM,
Puravatha Bhavan, 1st Floor, General Nagesh Marg, Near Mahatma Gandhi
Hospital, Opposite M.D. College, Parel, Mumbai – 400 012.

Complaint No.SMF/MUM/09/2012



Date of filing : 18/01/2012
Date of Order : 22/04/2014

Chhaya V. Mhapsekar,
R/o. – E/401, Nutan Arjun Nagar,
Cross Road No.4, Liberty Garden,
Malad (W), Mumbai.                                 ....Complainant.

V/s.

1. City Realcom Ltd.
Through it’s Proprietor & Director,
Gita Rajaki,
Director, City Realcom Ltd.
96-B Wing, 9th Floor, Mittal Tower,
Nariman Point, Mumbai.

2. Masud Khan, Director,
City Realcom Ltd.,
96-B Wing, 9th Floor, Mittal Tower,
Nariman Point, Mumbai.                              … Opposite Parties No.1 & 2.


Coram :
Shri.S.M. Ratnakar : Hon’ble President
Shri.G.H. Rathod : Hon’ble Member

Appearance : Shri. Mohsin Khan, Ld.Advocate for the Complainant.
None for the Opposite Parties (ex-parte).

O R D E R

PER SHRI. S.M. RATNAKAR – HON’BLE PRESIDENT

1) The Complainant has prayed that the Opposite Parties be directed to
pay Rs.3,99,875/- to the Complainant and to pass any other equitable
reliefs and cost of this complaint.

2) According to the Complainant, the Opposite Parties No.1 & 2 used to
promise attractive financial returns through their different schemes
and various attractive schemes and booklet were published by them
which are marked at Exh.‘A’ colly. The Complainant had invested huge
amount of Rs.1,27,000/- on 12/04/2008 in five years schemes as down
payments as financial option car and entered in an agreements with the
schemes alongwith the Opposite Party No.1 & 2. The copies of receipts
of investment alongwith agreement are marked as Exh.‘B’. It is
submitted that the Opposite Party No.2 is the Director of Opposite
Party No.1. According to the Complainant, the Opposite Parties ought
to have return Rs.5,16,500/- in view of the investment dtd.12/04/08.
It is submitted that the Opposite Party did pay an amount of
Rs.1,16,625/- to the Complainant. It is alleged that thereafter the
Opposite Parties have not paid any amount as per agreement and an
amount of Rs.3,99,875/- is remained to be paid to the Complainant. It
is alleged that the Opposite Parties are legally bound to pay the
aforesaid amount. It is alleged that the number of investors including
the present Complainant had invested their hard money, but the
Opposite Parties did not comply their assurance. It is submitted that
the Opposite Parties as per the reports in the news paper came to be
arrested by the Police Authorities but they are shirking their
responsibilities for providing service as promised. It is thus,
submitted that the prayer made in para 1 of this order may be allowed
against the Opposite Parties.

3) In spite of publication of notice in Daily Newspaper ‘Punnanagari’
dtd.30/04/2012, the Opposite Parties No.1 & 2 did not appear before
this Forum hence, the complaint is proceeded ex-parte against them.
The Complainant has filed her affidavit of evidence. The Complainant
has also filed written argument. The Complainant has filed documents
showing the schemes floated by Opposite Party No.1 & 2 and the payment
agreed by them to be a refunded or paid to the Complainant in future.
The Complainant has also placed on record. The copy of the agreement
executed by the Opposite Parties No.1 & 2 in her favour and placed on
record the chart of expected amount which was to be refunded by the
Opposite Parties No.1 & 2. she has also placed on record the documents
of payment she has received from the Opposite Parties on the said
documents and the chart placed on record by the Complainant it appears
that the Complainant is entitle for Rs.3,99,875/- from the Opposite
Parties No.1 & 2. The case made out by the Complainant against the
Opposite Parties goes unchallenged. We are therefore of the view that
the Complainant is entitled for the said amount for not providing the
services as agreed by them and compensation of Rs.4,500/- and cost of
Rs.1,200/-. In the result the following order is passed -

O R D E R

i. Complaint No.09/2012 is partly allowed against the Opposite Parties.

ii. The Opposite Parties are directed to pay an amount of
Rs.3,99,875/- (Rs. Three Lacs Ninety Nine Thousand Eight Hundred
Seventy Five Only) for not providing the services to the Complainant
as agreed by the Opposite Parties and Rs.4,500/- (Rs. Four Thousand
Five Hundred Only) towards the compensation and Rs.1,200/- (Rs.One
Thousand Two Hundred Only) towards the cost to the Complainant.

iii. The Opposite Parties shall comply with the aforesaid order within
one month from the date of service of this order.

iv. Certified copies of this order be furnished to the parties.

Sd/-                                         Sd/-
(Shri. G.H. Rathod)                   (Shri.S.M. Ratnakar)
Hon’ble Member                        Hon’ble President


can anyone clarify on this...
Anand.K
09941806090
7:40 PM

City Limouzine cases

Black money: probe hit by non-disclosure of information



Investigations into several major financial crimes have hit a roadblock
with law enforcement authorities in the United Arab Emirates and Singapore
reluctant to share information with India, prompting some members of the
Special Investigation Team (SIT) on black money to suggest that a
high-level delegation visit these countries.

The suggestion follows the positive response on other important black-money
cases that External Affairs Minister Sushma Swaraj received earlier this
month from the Mauritius Government that conveyed its readiness to assist
the SIT.

Revenue Secretary Shaktikanta Das and the then Central Board of Direct
Taxes Chairman K.V. Chowdary received the same response when they visited
Switzerland on a similar mission last month.

Indian enforcement agencies have, in the past, raised the issue of
non/partial execution of letters rogatory (LRs) -- judicial requests
seeking information from foreign law enforcement agencies in particular
cases -- but to no avail. This, the CBI has submitted to the SIT, has
hampered efforts to bring back illegal money stashed abroad and prosecute
defaulters.

Currently, there are nearly three dozen LRs pending with the enforcement
agencies in the UAE and Singapore.

Investigations in important cases – including Hasan Ali, Madhu Koda, 2G,
Satyam, Indian Premier League and City Limouzine cases --- where the money
trail has led the agencies to the UAE – have, therefore, seen little
progress. In the last two years, even personal interventions by Indian
Ambassadors to get information from the UAE failed to cut ice. In
Singapore, too, where 20-odd LRs including those pertaining to 2G Spectrum
and the Tatra truck deal cases are pending, the CBI has again sought the
Indian High Commission’s intervention. The pending LR issue was also raised
at a meeting between Union Home Minister Rajnath Singh and Singapore’s
Deputy Prime Minister Teo Chee Hean on the sidelines of the Interpol
Ministerial Conference in Monaco earlier this month.

“Although they have been giving assurances of full cooperation, there still
appears to be some reluctance in Singapore on sharing details in major
cases,” said an official, pointing out that the money trail in the VVIP
chopper deal case also leads to some accounts in Singapore.

Against this backdrop, some SIT members have proposed that high-level
delegations, perhaps headed by Union Ministers, could visit the UAE and
Singapore to facilitate the investigations.

Enforcement officials also added that the matter can be taken up at
international forums such as the Financial Action Task Force and the Egmont
Group of Financial Intelligence Units. “FATF, which sets standards and
promotes measures against financial crimes, has a specific provision making
international cooperation mandatory for member countries. Non-adherence can
lead to adverse consequences. The Egmont Group also has an
information-sharing mechanism,” an official said.


Source
<http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/black-money-probe-into-high-profile-scams-hit-by-nondisclosure-of-information/article6599711.ece?utm_source=RSS_Feed&utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=RSS_Syndication>
7:32 PM

Mriduhari Trade and Industries Limited populary known as MTIL fraud co.

Mriduhari Trade and Industries Limited populary known as MTIL is a fraud finance company which came in to existence somewhere in the month of August and till now they have frauded upon many dealers around mumbai.who are in to Electronics, 2 wheelers, 4 wheelers and etc. Beware guys they are a big fraud and especially the Director Dinesh Balwant Sakpal who is again the director for another fraud company in Pune which Himbjs Holidays Private Limited I have been jacked badly by this company so please beware of it and if anyone can help me in giving their details

@Hira Sales - Sunil 8879032661 / 9987701613 - Please find the comments from the customers who have been fraud by the MTIL Director's another chit fund company named HIMBJS ...we have got together and trying to unite against this guys who form companies with different names and use MTIL ( Mriduhari Trade &amp; Industries Ltd ) so that the guys / customers have faith in them when they see MTIL as Public Limited company.

I am not sure why EOW guys have not yet contacted me since Dinesh Sakpal the director of MTIL has already told me that he wants me to remove above comment made by me. so that they can clear their enquiry at EOW.


Also other directors involved are

1. Arif Merchant
2. Mohan Patil 

Monday, March 2, 2015

3:29 PM

Comfort for cheating investors MPID act shivaji estate live stocks and farms p ltd




Goat and sheep production from thousands of investors, many times phasavilya relief decision is manifestly Returns bait important stage of the national consumer protection. Maharashtra Investor Protection Act (emapiayadi) to get compensation for the damage, although existing investors, customers get the right to process the complaint mancakade civil war after the court has given the National Customer Manch vacuum to be the longest uninterrupted. While also invested Rs 41 crore in the matter phasavilya from 373 investors gave them the order to damage national Manch more than Rs pavanetina million. So now is the right to seek compensation for investors received thousands of different schemes and those who sat bump fraud.Nagpur Shivaji estate live stock and phamrsa Pvt. Ltd. The Managing Director and the Director of the apostle and his son Anil bharate bharate has earned crores of rupees to show compliance with the state thousands of investors, investment bait goat and sheep. Majesty, Dhanashri, such vanasri 15 years and has a long-term plan to invest in a variety of ways that benefit may be the return of invested Rs 74 thousand to three thousand rupees, the bait was obtained. For the sake of money invested huge pretext bhuluna guntavanudaranni thousands since 1997. Some of the schemes in the rate of premature and had plans to close the Options karanyacahi was going to come back in four years. She is getting money from investors to invest in the beginning of 2003, but then did not return the money periodic and plan out padanaryanna started messing denied. Some buyers have reported economic crime department of the police in Mumbai and Mumbai client Panchayat Executive Adv. Shirish Deshpande yancyakadehi been the case. Adv. Shirish Deshpande selimendhi invested Rs 41 crore in the following case about a talent adelakara with 373 investors on behalf of the National Consumer Protection mancapudhe had filed a complaint in 2007. The entire investment returns, interest, claim compensation was mancakade.* 9 per cent on the investment from the complaint filed, the original amount and the amount of compensation that they are 10 per cent of the company to order every investor.* This amount is the house worth around Rs pavanetina is brought to heel over the region of the Economic Crime Department.* So now investors can get the amount of compensation, thus Adv. Deshpande said.



Thursday, February 12, 2015

1:15 PM

Sebi cracks whip on Green Buds collective investment scheme

Cracking down on illicit money pooling that allegedly duped villagers and women in Karnataka of Rs 300 crore, Sebi has barred Green Buds Agro Farms, run by a husband-wife duo, and its directors from running such schemes and submit details of their assets and investors.
Sebi

The Securities and Exchange Board of India (Sebi) began a probe against Green Buds after it came across reports that the firm and its directors had collected Rs 300 crore from 6 lakh investors across Karnataka, mostly villagers and women.
  
As per Sebi's findings, the firm was inviting funds from public under an unauthorized 'collective investment scheme' with promised interest rates of 20-25 percent as returns.

In an order dated May 16, Sebi said that as no prior registration has been obtained by Green Buds for running the collective investment scheme it was "illegally mobilizing funds from the public, which prima facie amounts to a fraudulent practice".

Accordingly, Sebi has directed the Green Buds and its directors -- Bettahalli Ravindranath Lakshmegowda, Jayanthi Subbarayappa, and another associate Aruna Prasad -- "not to collect any money from investors from its existing scheme or to launch any new schemes".
   
Besides, Green Buds and its directors have been asked to immediately submit the full inventory of the assets owned by the firm out of the amounts collected from the "unit holders/investors under its existing schemes".

The entities have also been directed not to dispose of any of the properties or alienate the assets of the existing schemes as well as not to divert any funds raised from public.

Further, Green Buds and its directors have to within 15 days submit information sought by Sebi with regard to its schemes, list and details of investors, among others.

Following media reports, Sebi as a part of a preliminary enquiry into the alleged fraud had gathered information from the website of the company as well as from the website of Ministry of Corporate Affairs.
   
Sebi had also received a complaint from Greenbuds Workers and Depositor’s Protection Committee in March, this year, alleging the company of raising funds mainly from villagers and women offering high rates of interest as returns.
   
It was also alleged that the directors of the company have diverted the funds mobilized from investors and have amassed properties in their own names and in benami names.

The company's scheme pertained to purchase of land from the public funds for developing forestry/agriculture/industry and the profits were to be distributed to the investors.
1:09 PM

SEBI bars three firms from mobilising public money

Continuing with strict action against entities raising public money illegally, Sebi has restrained Federal Agro Commercials, Kolkata Aryan Food Industries and Waris Agrotech from mobilising funds from investors.
SEBI

Besides, the Securities and Exchange Board of India has barred these three companies and their directors from accessing the securities market.
   
The market regulator found that the companies had garnered capital from several investors through issuance of redeemable preference shares (RPS) and had "prima facie" violated various norms.

SEBI observed that issues by these three firms were made to more than 50 people. Under the rules, that made them public issues of debt securities requiring compulsory listing on a recognised stock exchange. They were also required to file their prospectus, which they failed to do.
   
The regulator, in three separate orders, said that Federal Agro Commercials Ltd (FACL, Kolkata Aryan Food Industries Ltd (KAFIL) and Waris Agrotech (India) Ltd (WAL) are prima facie engaged in fund mobilising activity from the public, through the offer of redeemable preference shares and
as a result of such activities has violated the provisions of the Companies Act.
   
Accordingly, Sebi has asked FACL, KAFIL and WAL "not to mobilise funds from investors through the offer of RPS or through the issuance of equity shares or any other securities, to the public and/or invite subscription, in any manner whatsoever, either directly or indirectly, till further directions".
   
Further, the companies and their directors are barred from issuing any offer document or advertisement for soliciting money from the public for the issue of securities.
   
These firms and their respective directors are restrained from accessing the securities market. SEBI has also asked the entities not to dispose any of the properties or assets acquired by that company through the issue of redeemable preference shares, without prior permission from the regulator as well as not to divert the funds raised from public.
   
While asking FACL, KAFIL and WAL to provide a full inventory of all its assets and properties, SEBI has also asked these companies to within 21 days from the date of receipt of the order submit all relevant and necessary particulars sought by the watchdog.
   
The directions shall take "effect immediately and shall be in force until further orders," SEBI said in its Monday's order.

According to SEBI, FACL raised Rs 25.94 lakh from 310 investors, KAFIL mopped-up Rs 49.64 lakh via 115 persons and WAL allotted redeemable preference shares to 475 individuals and mobilised funds amounting to about Rs 36 lakh.

Monday, December 29, 2014

12:42 PM

In response to grievances forwarded by Investorhelpline, the following companies have given important information relating to investors.

In response to grievances forwarded by Investorhelpline, the following companies have given important information relating to investors.
 
Name of Company Date Status
Acetylene & Industrial Gas Cylinders Limited 20-11-2008 Strike off under section 560.
Alpic Finance Limited 02-08-2002 Under Liquidation
Alsa Marine and Harvests Limited 17-07-2007 Referred to BIFR
Andhra Cements Limited 02-06-2007 Referred to BIFR
Anubhav group of companies 09-04-2008 Under Liquidation
BST Ltd 02-11-2007 Wound Up
Choksi Tube Company Ltd 11-09-2006 Under Liquidation
City Limouzines (India) Limited 08-10-2010 Under Liquidation
Compudyne Winfosystems Limited 27-02-2006 Wound Up
Concert Spices and Exports Limited 10-07-2007 Under Liquidation
CRB Capital Markets Ltd. 28-04-2011 Hon’ble High Court Directions
For claim / payment to depositor
CRB Capital Markets Limited 12-07-1997 Wound Up
24-01-2006 Company handed over to management by Provisional Liquidator.
11-11-2008 Special Leave Petition with Supreme Court of India by Company.
C.V. Steels Limited 19-07-2002 Under Liquidation
DCM Financial Services Limited   Under Court Considerations
03-03-2009 Scheme pending before Hon’ble Delhi High Court.
Dee Pharma Limited 15-01-2007 Under Liquidation
Devidayal Industries Limited 23-11-2006 Sick Company
DRUCKGRAFEN INDIA LIMITED 27-12-2010 Referred to BIFR
DSJ Finance Corporation Ltd   Wound Up
Duncans Industries Limited 06-02-2007 Referred to BIFR
East West travel and trade Link limited 24-02-2009 Under Liquidation
EBF Finance Limited 25-06-2009 Under Liquidation
Electrex (India) Limited 02-06-2007 Referred to BIFR
English Indian Clays Limited 03-03-2008 Circuit filter on trading of English India Clay Limited Shares
Escorts Finance Ltd. 12-03-2011 Payment of deposits under Hardship Cases
Escorts Finance Limited 18-12-2006 Special Committee by Court
Gangadharam Appliances Limited 10-07-2007 Referred to BIFR
Golden forests (India) Limited 30-07-2009 Special Committee by Court
05-10-2006 Special Committee by Court
Golden Projects Ltd. 28-03-2008 SEBI Launched prosecution against the company, its promoters and Directors
Green Gold Horticulture Ltd   Acc to SEBI Company did not comply with statutory requirements. SEBI has recommended winding up of the company.
Haritha Plantations (India) Limited 03-06-2009 Wound Up
ICICI Bank Limited 22-12-2010 Redemption of ICICI Bonds 1996
I.F.B. Finance Ltd. 03-12-2009 Wound Up
India Polyfibres Limited 15-05-2007 Merged with Indian Petrochemicals Corporation Limited
Indo Maxwell Ltd 24-09-2004 Under Liquidation
Jayant Vitamins Limited 23-01-2011 Referred to BIFR
Khatau Maknji Spinning & Weaving Company Ltd 03-01-2007 Sick Company
22-01-2007 BIFR has approved scheme for payment of principal amount within 15 days of lodgment of claim.
Kiran Overseas Exports Limited 11-07-2007 Under Liquidation
Kirloskar Investments and finance Limited 26-09-2006 Special Committee by Court
Krest Finlease Limited   Under Liquidation
Kuber Mutual Benefit Limited 18-07-2008 Under Liquidation
Lakshmi Synthetics Machinery Manufacturers Limited 11-07-2007 Under Liquidation
Lloyds Finance Limited 08-07-2011 Hon’ble High Court (Bombay) Directions For claim / payment to deposits
Lloyds Finance Limited 07-12-2006 Special Committee by Court
21-02-2007 Ready to make payments upto Rs. 10,000/-
Malanpur Steel Limited   Referred to BIFR
Modi Tele Fibres Limited   Under Liquidation
Morepen Laboratories Limited 04-08-2009 The scheme of arrangement or compromise arrived
  Under Quasi Judicial Proceedings
Mukerian Papers Limited 24-10-2004 Referred to BIFR
NHPC IPO - -
NICCO UCO Alliance Credit Limited 22-03-2005 CLB order to repay FD amounts
10-12-2008 Scheme of Compromise and Arrangement is pending before the Hon’ble High Court of Calcutta
Nova Udyog Limited 19-07-2007 Under Liquidation
Optel Telecommunications Limited 10-01-2008 Sick Company
Paam Drugs and Pharmaceuticals Ltd. 03-12-2004 Wound Up
Paam Pharmaceuticals (Delhi) Limited 09-01-2007 Under Liquidation
Pennar Paterson Securities Limited 24-11-1999 Under Liquidation
Prakrati Synthetics Limited 21-10-2008 Under Liquidation
Prudential Capital Markets Limited 23-12-2009 Under Liquidation
Punjab National Fertilizers and Chemical Limited 27-08-2008 Under Liquidation
SVPCL Limited 29-05-2008 No Stay on SEBI / SAT order by Supreme Court
S&S Industries and Enterprises Limited   Referred to BIFR
Sahara Housingfina Corporation Limited   NHB guidelines, Company is not permitted to accept any deposit from public
Sanmac Motor Finance Limited 27-10-2006 Revived after Wound up on 18 June 2001
SFL Industries Limited 04-07-2008 Under Liquidation
SIL Business Enterprises Limited (formerly Snowcem India Limited) 28-02-2007 Referred to BIFR
Sterling Tree Mangnum Limited 30-10-2008 SEBI Launched prosecution against the company, its promoters and Directors
Sudarshan Cement And Multiprojects Ltd 21-02-2003 Wound Up
Tata construction and projects limited 07-12-2006 Under Liquidation
Teatex Processing Complex Ltd 08-12-2005 Wound Up
Unicorn Organics Limited 22-12-2010 Referred to BIFR
Uniworth Limited 29-07-2009 Referred to BIFR
Videocon Industries Limited 24-01-2011  
Western Orissa Sugar Limited 29-09-2009 Under Liquidation
Western Paques (India) Ltd 07-08-1997 Official Liquidator is appointed

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

10:23 PM

The Ponzi Scheme

The Ponzi Scheme
11am: I am comfortably sprawled on the couch and sipping coffee, when both my children start harassing me because they are bored. I invent a new game where they are superheroes, grab two electronic mosquito swatters from the kitchen and set them off on the path to fight the tiny flying menace trying to destroy our nation. When Ebola finally hits India, I may have to come up with a new game. That is, if we are lucky to first survive dengue.
1.30 pm: My mother informs me that an old acquaintance from Delhi is coming over this evening. The lady in question has been trying to persuade mommy dearest to partake in a great money-making scheme and mom has already decided that it is a fabulous opportunity and is now persuading me to take advantage of her friend’s generous offer.
4 pm: I am writing my weekly column when my 21-year-old cousin comes over, strips off his T-shirt, shows- off his abs and starts doing rather painful looking crunches on the floor.
I really don’t understand this whole sic, eight, 10-pack thing, but if looking like a segmented insect is what makes most people happy these days then perhaps my middle-aged brain is simply missing the point.

6 pm: Our much-awaited visitor arrives. She is articulate, intelligent and extremely charming. I am almost convinced that I must part with most of my money, when I start mentally doing some calculations and an alarm bell starts ringing. I protest that nothing in the world can help you earn 125 per cent per annum especially when the bank is just about giving 9 per cent. Every question I ask is met with vague answers like angel investors, trading in yen, etc. till the meeting comes to an abrupt end.
8.30 pm: My mother receives an SMS from her friend which states, ‘I am very disappointed with your daughter’s attitude. What does she keep mumbling percentages for? Does she even know what she is saying? Under these conditions, I take back my kind offer of granting you place in my scheme. Its your loss.’
Mother starts berating me for having spoiled this great prospect and when I try explaining to her that this is just a money-making racket as the numbers don’t add up, she again yells at me for behaving like I am ‘some kind of maths teacher’ in front of her friend. Hurt about the maths dig, I remind her that I had scored 97 out of 100 in my Board exams on the same subject. She must remember that at least, since she and my aunt had made fun of me saying, “The Human Calculator not only gets 97 marks but also weighs 97 kilos.”
She gets even more irked so I sneakily grab her phone and send her friend a message back: ‘CBI has just arrested MP Ramchandra and two ex-MLAs in a Ponzi scheme, would you like to join them?’
A month later, mom calls me and says ‘I have been trying our Delhi friend’s number but she hasn’t returned my calls. Really, you should have been nicer to her. Didn’t even serve her biscuits properly with tea that day. But I agree with you, it’s better to be safe than sorry. What is too good to be true, usually is.... Anyway, listen, I got a letter from a nice Nigerian man who wants to give us some money...’.
Before she can continue, I yell, ‘Oh my God!’ She starts giggling
and says, ‘I am just joking’. I tell her, ‘It’s not funny, mom. Sometimes you really do make stupid mistakes.’
She snorts, ‘That’s true, I made you.’
Arghhhhhh....

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